When my husband and I got engaged, we did what most couples do—we planned a wedding, dreamed about our future, and tried to figure out how to merge two different systems of “doing money.” Somewhere between cake tastings and choosing a venue, we met with a pre-marital counselor. Of everything we talked about, one idea stuck with me:

“To most people, money is either power or security.”

Understanding which it is for you—and for your partner—can be the difference between financial tension and financial teamwork.

At Hill, we regularly walk couples through these kinds of conversations. Many of the couples we meet share core values (like a love for travel or a desire to raise a family), but are still working through the logistics of, “How do we actually combine this all?” and, “What shared values around money do we want to build from?”

In these discussions, we cover topics like:

• What should stay “yours,” what becomes “ours,” and what needs to remain “mine”
• How to build an emergency fund that feels safe and sufficient for both partners
• When it may make sense to pay down debt versus investing for the future
• Tax-efficient account structures and developing a clear savings strategy
• When to begin thinking about estate planning
• Planning for big goals like kids, real estate, or education

What we appreciate about these conversations is that they’re part financial planning, part real talk. We help couples organize their accounts and align their savings with their goals—but we also make space for the deeper stuff.

What does financial security look like to each of you? Who’s the natural saver, who’s the spender? Do you feel more confident when you can track every transaction—or does that stress you out?

Sometimes it takes a neutral third party to open the door to better understanding. In our experience, couples don’t usually argue about the numbers—they struggle to see each other’s financial values or life experiences clearly. And there’s research to support that insight. One study from UCLA found that couples who pooled at least some of their finances reported higher relationship satisfaction.¹ The researchers also noted that shared accounts may support transparency, reduce conflict, and promote long-term planning.

Of course, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some couples prefer the simplicity of pooling everything. Others value some financial autonomy. Still others are blended families managing multiple generations, stepchildren, and pre-existing commitments. Wherever you fall, what matters most is being intentional—and finding a structure that reflects your reality and values.

As you might guess, we’re strong advocates of simplicity. Whether it’s consolidating accounts, automating savings, or establishing shared systems, simplicity creates clarity. And clarity opens the door to better conversations.

So if you—or someone you care about—could use help having these conversations or setting up better systems, know that we’re here. Whether it’s your first time talking openly about money, or your tenth, we’re ready to guide the conversation with care, curiosity, and a bias for action.

Taking the Long View together starts with a strong foundation—and a shared understanding of what money means to each of you.

Book a time to talk here.

¹ Pooling Finances and Relationship Satisfaction. Gladstone, Garbinsky & Mogilner (2018). Available via UCLA Anderson Review.

Disclosures:
The information provided herein is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as investment, legal, or tax advice. Hill Investment Group (“Hill”) is an SEC-registered investment adviser. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training. All investing involves risk, including the possible loss of principal. Readers should consult with their legal or tax professional regarding their individual circumstances.